- Image by Chris DiGiamo via Flickr
Parenting during and after a divorce is an incredibly difficult job. Parents all over the world deal with having to work as a unit during a time when they no longer feel like a team. It makes sense that many of the parents butt heads during this time. There is conflict on the nature of disciplining their children. It’s not that this conflict didn’t exist before, or that it is purely a product of their newfound divorced status. It’s that there was always slightly differing opinions when it came to enforcing rules with children. The only difference now is that the parents don’t feel like a team and are forced to have to exist as one.
When a child is misbehaving it’s important for both parents to recognize and punish them for their actions. Of course it’s also likely that the child call up the other parent and complain. Many parents will come to the defense of the child in order to gain favor with them, not realizing that what they are doing is giving the child the idea that their actions are not punishable as long as there is a division in the two houses.
When a child calls and complains about a punishment, the most logical way to handle it is to speak with the child and let them know that both parents are in complete agreement about the punishment. It doesn’t matter if the other parent doesn’t agree with the punishment. It’s what’s been handed down and that means it needs to be enforced.
Of course that doesn’t mean there can’t be dialog about it. Once the standard has been set about the punishment, then it’s time for both parents to get on the phone and discuss the punishment. This is when discourse and debate can occur and make for a better understanding of what punishment might be more appropriate next time, but never in front of the child.
