Divorce can be easy to divide up assets. There are a million ways divvy up the things in life that matter to both people. Things can be sold and property can be bought out. But there is one thing that is nearly impossible to split up: children. Children are not easy to just take and leave. They are people with feelings too and the goal in any divorce involving kids is to try and do it in a timely and civilized manner. The failure to do so could cause irreparable damage to their children and how they view themselves and their parents.
The key in deciding where the children go is making sure the children understand the nature of the discussions. Many parents operate under the assumption that the kids understand that they are wanted by both parents and that is what the arguing or the conflict is about, but many kids have a skewed view on the matter.
These kids believe that they are the problem and that it is more a question of who is getting stuck with them. It’s a parents job to assure the children that the issue isn’t about who is burdened with the children but how to make the best possible choice on their behalf.
This makes the private discussion of the matter of the utmost importance. Parents are encouraged to spend time talking when the kids are at school or when they are in the company of a loving relative. These parents who offer their kids protection from the fighting that can take place during the custody hearings will be in better shape.
Many parents also ask the kids who they prefer to be with. This is a difficult question for the kid to answer in many situations. It’s not advised that the child be presented with the question. If they child can be settled on the agreement of the parents than that is always for the best.